Phone Calls
by athousandyellowdaisies
Summary: My version of season 4.5 It will be very Shulesy, but at first it has to be Shabigail. :
1. The Hospital

**AN: This is the first thing I've written in years. I'm writing it because I'm going insane waiting for Jan 27****th****. Let me know what you think! Willing to accept ideas!!**

Disclaimer: I own nothing

"_Hey shouldn't we wait for Diesel and Rodriguez before you slap the cuffs on them," _Shawn asked Lassiter as he lay his head against the front of Lassiter's car, thoroughly exhausted from the day, not to mention the fact he had been holding back the tears his gun wound was causing him for nearly 18 hours.

Once Gus' car finally rolled close enough, he and Juliet jumped out. Gus ran to Shawn's side as Juliet ran to cuff Longmore's partner.

"Shawn, are you ok?"

"Yeah buddy. Hey, you wanna do me a favor?"

"Of course, what do you need?"

"Just stand a little to your left so no one can see me cry, this hurts like no other."

"Come on; let's get you to my car so you can sit down."

"Gus, you're gonna let me sit in your car even though I'm filthy and covered in blood? I feel honored." Gus looked at Shawn, almost reconsidering, but grabbed Shawn and made himself a crutch.

"Oh, let me help you Gus," Henry came and took Shawn's other side as they led him to the car.

"Gus, you called a tow truck, right," Henry asked.

"Yeah," Gus replied, wincing when he thought how much it was going to cost him, after all it was a company car and his insurance did not cover Juliet driving it, even if she was a detective.

After Juliet helped Lassiter get the murderer into the car, she walked back over to Gus' car. "Shawn are you ok," she asked as she nervously approached him.

"In relation to what? In relation to Longmore- great, I'm not dead! In relation to you- I'm not feeling so hot."

"Oh, Shawn," Juliet couldn't resist hugging him forcing him to wince a bit, "We were all so worried about you. Worried that you—sorry." Juliet teared-up a little as she let go.

"It's ok, it's all over now. Now, what's the plan because my ability to sustain my manhood is slowly failing, I really wanna cry from the amount of pain I'm in."

"Oh! Sorry. We just called some Uniforms, they're on their way to get this guy, he doesn't have any ID on him and he refuses to talk so we have no idea what we're dealing with yet. But Shawn if you can wait 10 minutes for the Uniforms to get here, we'll take you and Mr. Spencer to the ER while Gus waits for the tow truck, which by the way Gus, I'm really sorry about. Just send the bill to Chief and she'll take care of it."

"You will come to a realization that Lassie really IS fun to annoy, and join me in my Lassie games!" Shawn and Juliet both laughed as he '_read_' her palm.

"Shawn! You should be more careful he really loves using his gun, and let me just tell you—" Juliet stopped speaking as Shawn looked up. She looked up and saw Abigail, walking towards them.

When Abigail got to them she bent down and gave Shawn a kiss, and Shawn's attention immediately transferred to his girlfriend. Juliet felt a twinge of jealousy. _Of course Shawn would call in his girlfriend to comfort him as he pretended it hurt more than it did, just to get her to kiss it. If it had been a 4 months ago, she'd be the one he'd try to get to kiss it better, he'd smile that irresistible grin, making her smile despite her efforts not to, and even though she'd start off with a strong 'no', she'd end up kissing it better in the end. He had a force over her, he always had. But it wasn't 4 months ago, he was sick of waiting. She missed her chance, and even though she wanted to blame someone else, she knew it was her fault. _"Jules"_ She should have known that Shawn wouldn't wait for her forever. He was handsome, charming, intelligent, and just reeked off fun. _"Jules"_ He could make anyone laugh and knew_-

"JULES," Shawn snapped in front of her face, "Are you alright? You seemed pretty out of it."

"Yeah, just really tired."

"Ok, well Abigail is here, so you can go home, they probably won't even get me in for another hour. You should get some sleep."

"Are you sure," Juliet asked as another wave of jealousy swept over her, _Of course, he only wanted her company until his girlfriend got there._

"Yeah, I'm just gonna catch Abby up on my heroic tale anyway, your health is far more important than to hear the story again," Shawn smiled, "By the way, thanks for saving my life. I owe you."

"Shawn, you saved your own life, I was just the messenger."

Shawn saw the pain in Juliet's eyes, and knew that the memory of their conversation earlier must have been painful for her, and he wanted to apologize, but he couldn't in front of Abigail.

**AN: PLEASE REVIEW!!!!**


	2. The Text

**AN: Ok, I wish I could promise all the updates this quickly, but I'm going back to school Sunday, but I'll try to get another out before then, and maybe 2 a week after. Hope you like this.**

"_Shawn!" Juiet answers the phone relieved that he's still alive._

"_This call is to say goodbye."_

"_Shawn are you ok," she asks, worried from his tone, he sounds possibly on his death bed._

"_Try to get anything- a location-" Gus chimed in, beside her. _

"_Shh," she yells at Gus, and continues, "Shawn, where are you?"_

"_Don't-don't ask me any questions 'cuz I can't say anything else. If you care about me you'll understand."_

_Confused and worried, she slides into her chair. Of all the stupid stuff he's pulled, he's never been in danger like this, and it scared the hell out of her, it took all of the effort she had not to panic, "I'm listening."_

"_I'm not gonna be able to have much of a future anymore, but back at where we were, I'll be there, ok?"_

"_Back? I don't know what that means, Shawn, what are you talking about," she scrunches her eyebrow, not following what he's saying, searching her mind for some sense in it._

"_The wind chimes that I got you for your birthday, every time you hear them, from now on, that'll be me."_

_This was more than she could take, he's talking about death, he must be worse off than she thought, she couldn't lose him. He meant so much to her, and she never got a chance to show him how much she- no this wasn't about her, or them, it was about keeping him safe. She needed to keep him calm, which meant she needed to at least fake a calm voice, "Ok, Shawn, first of all, you are going to be fine. We're going to find you, ok? Don't worry."_

"_Listen, before-before I go, I have to say one more thing."_

_Oh God, she couldn't deal with this, but she had no choice. Just give him his wish, you don't know if you'll be able to ever again, "Of course, Shawn, what it is?"_

"_I need you to know that- I love you."_

_Her heart stopped, it was the one thing she had wanted to hear for the longest time, sure, it wasn't in the best situation, but he said it. He could have called Abigail and told her but instead he chose her. So she decided to risk it and tell him while she still had the chance, "Shawn, I think that I-"_

"_Goodbye Abigail."_

_And her world came crashing down. It was code, he was trying to help himself get found; there were no feelings. And he would never realize how much that killed her inside._

That's when she opened her eyes that were filled with tears. It was just a dream. Shawn had once asked her if she believed in a love curse, before she wasn't sure, but now she KNEW they existed, she knew because those forces were determined to put her through as much pain as possible. Why else would they make her relive that in her dreams?

She got out of bed. She was too shaken up to fall back asleep, so she decided to make herself some tea. On her way to her kitchen she stopped to check her phone, which she left on the coffee table. She didn't know who would text her _at oh wow, 3:30am_ but she checked anyway. There was a time that Shawn would text her if he couldn't sleep, one time he even got her to play this silly game in which he would text a word and then she had to reply with the first word she thought of, and it would keep going. But that was in the past.

She knew that he always liked her, but at first she thought it was only for her body. After all, that's what most the guys that 'liked her' wanted. But then his smile, witty banter, the gleam in his eyes, his persistence, the fact that he would help anyone, and even his childish behavior began to charm her, but the fact that he knew her so well without even trying, like he could see right into her sole is what made her realize he was serious and what made her fall in love.

The problem was it had scared her. She refused to admit it, even to herself for the longest time. So much could go wrong. First of all, they worked together, the cases could get personal. Chief Vick would never allow it, it was a conflict of interests, and it was against protocol, that's why she was even in Santa Barbara, because Lassiter's previous partner was also his love interest. And even if they could get past all that, there was one blinding issue in the way. The fact that Shawn Spencer had the inability to commit to anything, she knew that Shawn had never been in a real relationship, so why would he start then.

But despite her mind trying to reason with her heart, she fell for him. She didn't know when, but the time she realized it, she fell way to far to ever get out again. She was able to reason that Shawn had been able to commit to his agency for 3 years, that was great commitment, and he had also been friends with Gus since he was 5. Maybe he could commit. She also reasoned that he didn't technically work for the SBPD, and there were no rules against dating a private investigator to her knowledge, and she knew the rules forwards and backwards. So she went for it. She decided to face her fears and ask Shawn out and though she appeared ok with it when he rejected her for Abigail, it shattered her heart.

Just then, her tea kettle whistled, ripping her from her thoughts. She sighed as she poured the tea into her mug and took it to her couch. She sat down and wrapped herself in the crocheted blanket her grandma gave her. She contemplated getting out her guitar, it always helped when she was upset, but figured she shouldn't or her neighbors might kill her. Instead she allowed herself to zone out, until she jumped when her phone vibrated.

_Shawn  
Sent- 3:47 am  
Received- 3:47 am  
I'm sorry. :(_

**AN: I hope I kept Juliet in character. Please Review!**


	3. The Conversation

**AN: This is short, but it's something, right? I should update at least once more this weekend. :)**

Juliet sat on her couch, staring at the text, contemplating. _Shawn is saying sorry? Shawn didn't do that. Well, he did once, when he yelled at her. But, then her heart hurt so much it didn't matter. Back then, she thought it was the most she'd ever hurt for Shawn, she'd been rejected before and just moved on. But it wasn't the same, she saw Shawn almost everyday, she was charmed by him everyday, and almost everyday she saw him with Abigail. _

_What was he saying sorry for? It didn't matter. She wouldn't get the one apology she truly wanted and he was doing what he had to do to save his life. She couldn't truly blame him._ She took a deep breath. _Should she text him back? But then she'd look pathetic, up alone this late at night. Ok, so she'd wait for morning. But was there a reason he was waiting this late? He probably just got done- Juliet, stop it! It's only going to make it hurt worse. Maybe he felt really guilty and couldn't sleep until he got it off his chest. Juliet_- she warned herself. But she had already convinced herself. With a deep breath she sent

_Jules  
Sent- 3:50  
For what?_

_Shawn  
Sent- 3:51  
For the phone call. It wasn't fair of me._

Her heart fluttered, _maybe he did know. Then she realized that if he knew, he didn't care that she still had feelings for her, he truly did care for Abigail more._ _Juliet, you promised you guys could be friends, you can't break the promise. Don't let him know he hurt you._

_Jules  
Sent- 3:53  
You didn't do anything wrong. You did what you had to do to stay alive._

_Shawn  
Sent- 3:53  
Yeah, but I'm still sorry…_

_Jules  
Sent- 3:54  
For what, Shawn?_

He didn't want to hurt her more for bringing it up. _Did it even hurt her? Maybe she was over him, and the pain he saw in her eyes earlier was only worry. He felt a rush of pain through his body. Dude, you have to stop this, your with Abby now. Abby, man, the girl you always wanted._

_Shawn  
Sent- 3:57  
Nvm. Hey, I'm wide awake now; wanna play the word association game? :)_

Juliet thought about this. _Maybe this was their chance to get things back to normal._

_Jules  
Sent- 3:59  
Pineapple_

**AN: Hope you liked. Review Please!**


	4. The Jog

There is a small spoiler from 4.11, but it doesn't really "spoil" anything. I want to thank everyone for reading and reviewing, you guys are great! I have gotten a lot of great ideas from them too! Thanks!

Disclaimer: I don't own Psych in any way, shape, or form.

Juliet woke up to her alarm at 6 am, just like everyday, but today she was particularly exhausted, so for the first time in years, she rolled over to hit the snooze. Unfortunately, she didn't have room to roll over because she had fallen asleep on her couch, instead she fell right off and hit her head on the coffee table.

"Ow," she opened her eyes. She scrunched up her face as she tried to remember how she got there, it slowly came back to her. _The dream, tea, Shawn-_ she picked up her phone.

_Shawn  
Sent- 4:39  
Received- 4:39  
Irresistible psychic_

She smiled; she must have fallen asleep as she tried to think of an appropriate response to that. Before Abigail it was easier to play, she didn't have to censor what she replied as much. Finally getting annoyed, she walked back to her room and shut off her alarm clock and pulled on some sweats, she was relying on her morning jog to relieve her from the intense emotions that had been pulsating through her body the last 28 hours or so.

…….

She ran as fast as she could, forcing every bit of pain she felt into the ground, the more she hurt, the more she forced herself to run harder. It was just her, her thoughts, and the road. _He chases after me, is so persistent, makes me fall in love, and then isn't interested _She forced the thoughts out of her mind as she ran faster. _I tell him for years that we're just friends, but he won't stop pursuing me. I give him a chance to be more, then all of a sudden we're just friends. _She ran faster. _If it wasn't for Abigail she'd be happily in his arms- No. Juliet, you can't blame her. She just fell for the same irresistible guy you did she had no chance, she was doomed to fall for him just like every other girl he so much as flirted with. It was him who chose her._ She was already to her apartment door, she sat down, in tears. She completed her 5 mile jog that normally took her 37 minutes in a mere 33 minutes, and she exhaled slowly as she let the endorphins flood her body. Even if it was only a little, they helped ease the pain.

………

Juliet sighed as she looked at the stack of paperwork that sat on her desk, all dealing with Shawn. It was going to take her ALL day to complete, she needed an extra large cup of coffee. She sat down and shuffled through the papers, trying to create some order. As she let out a huge yawn, she glanced up and saw Shawn and Abigail holding hands with Gus beside them, heading her way. _We haven't made eye contact yet, just slide into your chair, become invisible._ She slid into her chair and turned it towards the other direction. _I really can't deal with this right now, I need a break, I need time to think, I need-_

"Jules!"

She turned back around. "Hi Shawn, I didn't realize you guys were here," she forced a smile, "Gus, Abigail."

"Yeah, Chief asked us to stop by, plus the spirits told me you would be needing this," he handed her a Grande Quad-Shot Espresso Non-fat Mocha.

"Thank you so much," she smiled as she took it.

"Don't thank me, thank the spirits," he grinned.

Juliet took a sip, "Wow, the spirits even know exactly how I like it!"

Shawn raised an eyebrow to that, "Shut up, Shawn, that's not what I meant!"

Juliet couldn't help but laughing, as Abigail cleared her throat. "Oh, right, so I'm going to see what Chief has in store for us." Shawn took Abigail by the small of her back and lead her toward Chief Vick's office, "Gus, you coming, buddy?"

"Go ahead; Juliet said she needed me to help her finish some details in her paperwork."

"K, I'll save you a good seat."

After they were far enough away Juliet asked, "Gus, what's this about?"

"I've tried telling him, but he doesn't seem to understand, he always says that you said you guys were just friends and you both agree. He-"

_Oh, God, am I really this transparent? Can everyone see that I am in love with him? I must look so pathetic. _"Gus, what are you talking about?"

"Come on, Juliet, we've known each other for over four years, I consider you my friend, and you may not know this, but I'm considered the 'Vault of Secrets'. You never know, just talking might help."

"Thanks, Gus. I really appreciate it, but I have a TON work to do."

"Ok, but if you need me, you have my number."

"Thanks, Gus," Juliet was able to produce a small, but genuine smile.

……..

_Come on _Juliet said to herself as she sat on her couch, holding her grey cat and staring at her phone that lay on the coffee table._This would just confirm how pathetic you really are. Gus sees it, Shawn knows it, who else knows? _Sometimes the slight nod or smile she gets from Chief Vick makes her feel like she knows too. _But, then again, if he already knew, what could it hurt? She really could use someone to unload on._

"Hello, Juliet."

"Hi Gus, I decided that I really do want to take you up on your offer. How about I buy you coffee at Starbucks in, hmm, an hour?"

"That sounds great."

"Oh, Gus?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

"Don't worry about it. See you soon"

"Bye"


	5. The Painkillers

Disclaimer: I don't own Psych or any of it's characters. :(

"Mr. Spencer, you know how we feel about guests here," Chief Vick said as she glanced toward Abigail.

"Chief she's my nurse, she needs to go everywhere with me, I might go into shock at any moment and-"

"Mr. Spencer, enough. Sorry Miss Lytar, I have to ask you to step outside for a moment."

"Oh, it's no problem"

"Where is Mr. Guster?"

"Jules had to ask him something for some paperwork, he'll be right in."

"Alright, well before he gets here, let me remind you that if you are in need of any counseling-"

"I'm fine Chief, really."

"Alright, here is your paycheck for the last case."

"Dude, we get paid for that? Awesome!"

"Well, technically Mr. Guster gets paid because he helped out while you were duct taped to a chair."

"Minor details, by the way, Gus doesn't need to know."

Chief Vick rolled her eyes as Gus walked in. "I'm sorry I kept you waiting."

"No worries Mr. Guster. Now, Mr. Spencer, you do realize that you will be asked to testify in court, am I correct?"

"Yes.. Now, do I bring my own Bible to swear on, or use theirs?"

"Shawn," Gus yelled at him.

"Mr. Guster, do you have the bills for the repairs on you car?"

"Yes, ma'am," Gus handed them to her.

"Thank you. You should receive a check in the mail from the city in five to ten business days. Oh, and Mr. Spencer, I don't want to hire you while you are injured, so go home and get better, and please for all of our sakes', don't do anything stupid."

………………………………………….

"So where to now?"

Shawn reflexively looked over at Juliet, who was looking at him too, with that same look in her eye. Their eyes locked with a burning intensity, "Actually Abby, I sort of just need to go home and take a nap."

"Oh, I gotchya, it's a plan."

"Huh," he asked, breaking eye contact, "No, I mean actually sleep. I don't mean to sound- well mean, but maybe it's better if I go home alone and sleep, I'm just going to be crabby anyway."

"Oh, ok. That's fine," she replied following to where his gaze was, even though she already had a feeling of where it was to begin with. _He chose you, he's had multiple chances to leave you and go to her, but he doesn't. He loves you, you have no reason to be jealous_she tried to convince herself, but couldn't help but notice the nagging feeling that she may be wrong.

……………………………………….

When Shawn got back to his apartment- if you could call it that, he took some of the pain killers the doctor gave him and laid down for a nap. _Wow, I don't remember the last time I took a nap- wait, with the whipped cream and-, ok, I cant remember the last time without some girl with me, at least. Dude, I really shouldn't have told Abby she wasn't welcome. I feel like such an ass and it looked like it upset her, she's gonna be pissed. But I couldn't have her come over. Not when the whole time she was talking, I was lost in Juliet's eyes- how does that happen all the time, you'd think I'd learn to avoid that. Anyway, that would have been even worse of a thing to do to her, be with her and be thinking of someone else. She's not just someone else, she's Jules. With her- No, what I need to do is clear my mind. But how? I thought I finally managed to throw out all of the feelings I ever had for Juliet. I was doing so well, and then out of nowhere it all rushes back, from just one look in her eyes. Those eyes are- Dude, you HAVE to get over her, it's the only fair thing to do. But Jules- no. You are doing so well, you have lasted 4 months in this relationship. That's- well 3 months, 3 weeks, and 4 days longer than any other relationship you've been in. Wow, I never seemed to care before, why does it matter now. Dude, shut up! Abigail is the only one you've ever been able to commit to, that has to mean something. But I would have been able to commit if Jules would have given me the chance. No, you can't know that. You're not what Juliet is looking for, she needs more than what you can offer, even if she doesn't realize that. Even if YOU don't want her to realize that. She would realize it sooner or later, after you're in too deep into those eyes- into the relationship, and it would kill you. Plus, you already made your decision, that night in the movie theatre. But that kiss, just a peck on the cheek, was perfection. Aww, man, I NEED to talk to Gus._

Shawn hit #1 on his speed dial, "Hey buddy, wanna come over? Play some Wii wrestling?"

"I'm kind of busy. How about later?"

"Gus, I don't want keep you from anything-"

"Is that Jules? Why are you with Jules?"

"Shawn I'll call you back later."

**AN: Please review! It really isn't that difficult. I promise.**


	6. The Question

**AN: This was SUPER difficult to write. I HOPE you like it. The plot is going to get more interesting in either the next chapter or the one after it. :)**

Disclaimer: I own nada...nichts...rien...nothing

Juliet arrived at Starbuck's 15 minutes early, and looked around awkwardly. She didn't know why she was so nervous, it's not like she was meeting Shawn there to talk about her feelings for him. The thing was, she didn't know what she was going to talk about. She didn't even know if she could say what was on her mind; it was so difficult for her to admit these things to herself, let alone another person.

She looked around for a place to sit and found two big squishy chairs facing the door, so she could see Gus as he walked in. Without thinking twice she collapsed into the comforting arms of a chair as she let out a big sigh. _This is stupid, I should leave now before he gets here and I have to stay. Really, there is nothing to talk about, I'm just gonna make myself look foolish. No. Stay. He went out of his way to help you, and you never know, maybe this is what you need to FINALLY get over Shawn. You are a great woman; you are strong, intelligent, and successful. If Shawn doesn't want you it is his loss, not yours. You-_

Juliet's thoughts were interrupted when Gus tapped her on the shoulder. "Juliet, are you ok? You look really- out of it."

"Yeah, I'm just lost in thought. I'm a little tired…exhausted really."

"Oh, well then let me buy you a coffee then."

"No! Gus you're doing me a huge favor, it's the least I could do."

"Are you sure?"

"Gus, please just let me pay for it."

"Alright," he smiled at her.

When they finally sat down, all words left Juliet's mind, so she stared at her sparkly pink Converse. One thing Juliet loved about not being at work, was her ability to wear comfy, cute clothes.

"So," Gus started.

"So," Juliet followed.

"So- what are your intentions with Shawn," Gus asked awkwardly, since he didn't know how else to fill the silence.

Juliet let out an amused smile, "Intentions? I'm not going to get in the way of him and Abigail, if that's what you mean-"

"No. Of course, I didn't mean it like that."

"Well, then, um, I guess- Ok, Gus, here it is straight out. I am in love with Shawn, I admit it. I have been in love with him for a while now. I love his mischievous grin, I love his persistence, and I love the gleam in his eyes when he is really happy or has had a vision and figured something out. I love his quirkiness, his unbelievable charm- I still don't know how he does it, I love his laugh, and I even love his ADD-ness. I love that he would do anything for someone he cares about. But most of all, I love how he can make me smile, no matter how upset I am, no matter how mad I am at him, no matter what, he can get me to smile," Juliet took a deep breath, "Wow, I didn't – wow- I couldn't even admit all that to myself."

Gus was taken aback; he hadn't expected her to be that honest, especially not right off that bat. It must have really been weighing her down. But what he couldn't believe is _how _much she really cared for him. He knew she had feelings for him, but he'd never imagine they were that strong. "So, how do you feel now?"

"So much better, actually. I feel so much lighter now. But listen, I know Shawn loves Abigail, I'm not going to interfere with them. I only called you because I needed to get this off of my chest."

"Juliet, you know Shawn has never told her he loves her, right? The other day, the phone call to you was the closest- well, let's put it this way, the only person Shawn says 'I love you' to is his mom."

"Oh," Juliet said as she tried not to get her hopes up.

"Juliet, I'm going to be honest with you, number one because you're hurting, and number two because we're friends," he took a deep breath, "Shawn still has feelings for you. I can see it in his eyes, he still watches you when he thinks no one is looking. Abigail has gotten upset before because he has chosen to help you on a case instead of go out with her. He speaks so highly of you; he has to hold himself back to keep it platonic between you two. He is trying so hard to keep it platonic, but I know Shawn and I know it's much more than that."

"Then why is he with Abigail?"

"Well, to understand Shawn you have to understand his past. Shawn would shoot me for telling you this, but Shawn is actually really sensitive. He is afraid of getting hurt, which has to deal a lot with his parents' divorce and bad relationship with his dad. Shawn has never been able to commit to anything. He has had over 50 jobs since high school, and hasn't been able to maintain a relationship longer than 3 days, until now. The worse thing is if Shawn get's hurt too bad, if he get's too scared, he runs, as far away as possible. He has been all over the place."

Gus took a sip of his coffee, as Juliet tried to grasp onto what he was saying.

"Shawn committing to our agency for 4.5 years surprised me. Something in the last 4.5 years has changed him. Not only has he been able to commit to a job, but he is attempting to have a real relationship with his father, granite they have their troubles, but he still is trying. And now, recently, he has been able to commit to a girl, which no one _ever _thought would happen."

"Yes, and the fact that Abigail has been able to make him settle down must mean something about his feelings for her, so any feelings for me are moot."

"It wasn't her who got him to settle down; he has been settled down for quite awhile now, well- at least for Shawn. I really shouldn't tell you this, but he only asked her out in the first place because he was challenged. I was hassling him about flirting with everyone, but not being able to commit, and since he knew you were going to turn him down again, he called her to prove me wrong."

"But he made it work; their relationship is strong now, so that doesn't matter."

"It does when you look at the fact that-" Gus' phone rang, "One moment."

_"Hey buddy, wanna come over? Play some Wii wrestling?"_

_  
"I'm kind of busy. How about later?"_

_  
"Gus, I don't want keep you from anything-"_

_  
"Is that Jules? Why are you with Jules?"_

_  
"Shawn I'll call you back later," _Gus hung up.

"That was Shawn? Is he ok?"

"He's fine, I'm sorry for interrupting this."

"It's fine."

"So, yeah. This is his first real relationship. He is _proud _that he has done something right in his life. I wouldn't be surprised if the only reason he was with her is his pride and that he doesn't want to disappoint anyone."

"You're saying he doesn't have feelings for her, but he is staying with her just because he is proud he's stayed with her this long? That doesn't sound like Shawn."

"No, that's not what I'm saying exactly. Shawn has feelings for her, but mostly residual feelings from high school. And he is attracted to her very much so, but he doesn't love her. He loves you."

"So what am I to do? Sit around and wait for him to figure this out?"

"That's your choice."

"Gus, that- this is just a theory. You have no proof that he loves me."

"Juliet, I know my friend. And look at it this way; this is Shawn's first relationship. He knows he is bound to screw up, who ends up with their first girlfriend? I think subconsciously he is with Abigail to learn how to be a good boyfriend, learn his limits, get used to being tied down. Then, when it goes bad, he will be ready for you, trained and able to give you what you need."

"Gus, these are just more theories."

"Juliet, do you love him?"

"Yes."

"Can you see yourself settling down with him?"

"Yes."

"Now, the only question is, are you willing to wait for him," Gus asked, sure of Juliet's answer.


	7. The Friends

**AN: Sorry it took so long to update, I have the next several chapters written, I just keep forgetting to post them here. Keep reviewing, it's what reminds me to post ;) ! So this is just plot, it will get better *evil grin***

"What were you doing with her," Shawn verbally attacked Gus as soon as he opened the door to his apartment.

"What does it even matter?"

Shawn hesitated, he wasn't expecting that question, "It doesn't," he said defensively, "I'm just curious, and worried about you."

"Worried about me? What on earth could Juliet do to hurt me," Gus smiled slyly.

"Just tell me why you were with her," Shawn demanded.

"Someone's a bit touchy. It's not like you have a claim on her or anything, you're with Abigail, remember?"

"This has nothing to do with Abigail," Shawn said through gritted teeth, "I just don't want you ruining anyone's friendship by doing anything particularly stupid."

Although Gus could kept this going on, he knew it was hurting Shawn, so he gave up on his friend's behalf. "Don't worry, we were just talking, you had everyone really shaken up. Even Lassiter seemed shaken."

Shawn let out a deep breath, "You mean you guys were talking about me," Shawn teased, with a smile back on his face.

"No," Gus replied.

"Dude, you just said you were. Are you lying to me?"

"Why would I lie to you Shawn? Come on, let's play some Wii wrestling."

"Why are you dodging the bullet-"

"Not funny, Shawn"

"Oh my God, you're in the Vault of Secrets, aren't you?"

"No."

"Yes you are. Juliet told you a secret about me," Shawn smile became mischievous.

"That's it, I'm going home."

"No! Buddy, wait. I'm sorry. Let's play Wii."

"No more talking?"

"Nope, just me kicking your ass."

"That's never going to happen."

"Bring it on!"

…………….

Juliet never replied to Gus' last question with more than a slight smile. The problem was, she couldn't wait forever for Shawn. She wanted- no she needed someone to want her. She needed to feel loved, to be held, for someone to tell her "It's all ok." Of course, she was still attracted to Shawn, but she hoped, for her sanity that it was nothing more than a physical attraction and her brain confusing friendship for love. _I have been so wrapped-up in Shawn that I haven't even given any other guy a thought. Maybe that's my problem, I want to want Shawn. Juliet, you need to get out there, socialize, and get over him. You knew he wasn't going to wait for you forever, and you can't wait for him either. What is done is done, but you need to move on. You have been so invested into work, it's time you take a night of and go out with the ladies._

…………….

"Gus, can we open the Vault of Secrets," Shawn asked Gus, after they both collapsed on the couch, exhausted from their Wii competition.

"I'm not telling you what Juliet said."

"No, I mean, can I add my own?"

"What? Um- sure."

"Thanks buddy. I'm afr-" Shawn caught himself from expressing a _real_ emotion, "I keep coming really close to screwing all of this up with Abigail."

"What do you mean?"

"The way I snapped at her earlier today. And for some reason-um- for some reason "Shawn sighed, "For some reason the whole time she was talking I couldn't stop looking at Jules, I couldn't stop thinking about Jules. I don't know why, but I told her not to come over because I needed to clear my mind. But I couldn't I just kept thinking about both of them, and at one point I wasn't sure who I wanted to be with. Gus, you have to help me, I can't disappoint Abby again. I can't leave her alone again, waiting on a pier, regretting her every decision."

"Wow, Shawn. I wish I could help, but I don't know what you want me to do. This is your decision, not mine."

"Dammit. I knew you'd say something like that. Gus, just tell me what to do."

"No, Shawn. The last time I told you what to do, you screwed it up more and I go stuck with a months worth of detentions."

"To be fair, that wasn't from me following your advice. That was from me framing you for the whole toilet exploding incident."

"What? Shawn, I'm gonna kill you," Gus ran after Shawn.

"Whoa, buddy," Shawn put the desk between them, "Remember, I'm in a sling. I just got shot," he dodged around the other side of the desk as Gus came after him, "Gus I'm sorry. It's in the past. Come on, help me out?"

Gus stopped, out of breath, "All I'm going to say is don't make a decision based on what they want you to do, base it off what you want, who you can't live without."

………………

"Hey, Chloe! Hannah, Kirsten, and I were going to go to the bar and just have a girls' night. What do you say?"

"Oh, that sounds fun! About what time?"

"We were thinking around 9, get some dinner then head over to the bar."

"Ok, sounds great!"

………………………

"Juliet!"

"Hey girls," Juliet smiled as she gave them all a big hug.

"We miss you so much, you're always so busy."

"Yeah, I know, that's why I called. I miss our girls' nights."

"Ok, Juliet, so what's really bothering you," Kirsten asked.

"What do you mean?"

"You, look like you haven't slept in a year. And you randomly call us for a girl's night, which you haven't done in at least 4 months," Hannah added.

"I just-"

"Oh my God, you're not preggo are you," Kirsten butted in.

"No! I just wanted-"

"Well it's definitely a guy," Chloe added in.

"Are you getting married," Kirsten asked.

"No she's too stressed out for good news," Hannah answered for Juliet.

"It's definitely something to do with a guy," Chloe stated flatly.

"I'm surprised, Juliet, you normally don't let guys get to you, it must be serious," Kirsten looked at her.

"Guys! Let me talk. First of all, I didn't call you to talk about my guy trouble, I genuinely wanted to get out and see you guys."

"So it is guy trouble," Chloe confirmed.

"Am I that transparent?"

"Aww. Tell us what happened," Chloe said as she hugged Juliet again.

"Well, there's this guy-"

"Do we get a name?"

"Um, I guess. Shawn-"

"Oh, wait I show us a picture," Kirsten demanded.

"Ok," Juliet took out her phone and showed them a picture she had of her and Shawn making funny faces on the Boardwalk, eating hotdogs. It brought a smile to her face, all the joke Shawn made about the old guy she was dating. _No, Juliet, you are supposed to be getting over him_

"Oh my God. Shawn Spencer," Kirsten asked surprised.

"You know him?"

"Wait a minute," Hannah said as she looked at the phone, "I know him too," she blushed.

"Oh my God, you've both slept with him haven't you?"

"It was a while ago," Kirsten pleaded.

"Same here," Hannah looked guilty.

"Don't look at me, I've never seen him before," Chloe chimed in before she could be accused.

"Juliet, you should know better than to fall in love with a player like Shawn-"

"He's not a player anymore."

"Oh, yeah? Then why are you coming to us all broken?"

"Because he is madly in love with someone else and it's all my fault. But I don't want to talk about it right now. I want to hang out with my best friends, get smashed, meet a nice, hot guy, and have some fun. That's all."

**AN: Review Please!**


	8. The Song

The first sense that came back to Juliet was scent. She smelled something acidic, which made her stomach churn. It was sour and burning her nostrils. She opened her eyes next, to see her head resting on a toilet bowl. She was wrapped in a blanket, but stripped of her shirt. She raised her head to get her bearings, as she did this her head began to pound. _What the hell happened last night?_She tried to remember the night before, which made her head pound more, so she slowly got up to check the bathroom for Advil. _I was out with the girls. We ate dinner and then went to the bar. I had a martini and we were talking to some guys. The cute blonde-haired, blue-eyed, muscular guy- Ethan bought me Tequila and-_ That was it. She couldn't remember anything else. _Oh my God, am I in his house?_ She let out a whine.

"I think I hear her, I'm going to check on her," Kirsten entered the bathroom.

"Oh, Kirsten, thank God. What happened? Where is your Advil?"

"Right here honey," she handed her 2 pills, "Here, lets get you to the living room, and get you some food and water."

"What time is it?"

"It doesn't matter, Hannah already called into work for you, pretending she was you and had the flu."

"Uggh. Wait, where is my phone?"

"We had to confiscate it from you last night. Here," she pulled it out of he pocket and gave it to her.

"Oh God, what happened?"

"You don't remember anything?"

"The last thing I remember is Ethan buying me a couple shots of Tequila."

"Or seven."

"Seven? Oh no!"

Kirsten led Juliet to the living room and sat her down on her couch.

"Here, honey. I got you a coffee, some water, and dry toast," Chloe brought her a tray out from the kitchen.

Juliet looked at the toast disgusted, "Thanks but I think I'll just take the water," she said as she swallowed the pills down with her water.

"Eat the toast. It will soak up some of the alcohol in your stomach."

"That's if she didn't puke it all up already."

"Hush, Kirsten, that's not going to help anything."

"Where's my shirt?"

"In the washer."

"Uggh. Guys, tell me what happened."

"Are you sure you want to know?"

"Yes."

"Well-"

……………….

"Come on girls, let's have some real fun! The kind we haven't had since college!"

"Juliet, we're 30, we're not exactly invincible anymore."

"Aww come on, look, let's just get a drink and scope this place out."

"Ok. I'll go get us all martinis. Any objections? No? Good, I'll be right back," Kirsten smiled as she went to the bar.

"Oh, look," Hannah pointed to a stage, "They have karaoke. We should all do it!"

"Ok," Juliet looked at her, "That's the one thing you won't get me to do, unless I'm totally smashed."

"Hey girls," Kirsten came up behind them, with two guys linked around her arms, "Ethan here bought us our drinks, what do you say girls," she led Ethan right to Juliet.

"Thanks," Juliet blushed, "I'm Juliet."

"I'm Ethan," he replied, "And very pleased to meet you."

Juliet smiled, and looked over at Kirsten, who winked at her.

"Why don't you lovely ladies join me and my buddies over at our table," Ethan invited them.

"We'd love to," Juliet replied, and Kirsten raised an eyebrow.

……………………………………

"Wanna get away from everyone so we can talk alone?"

"Sure."

"Let's go up to the bar and get drinks."

"Ok," Juliet held onto Ethan's hand as he led her through the crowded bar.

"Two shots of Tequila," he ordered.

"Oh, I can't handle Tequila very well."

"It's only one shot. So tell me, why is a stunning lady like you at a bar, on a night like this?"

"Well," Juliet took the shot handed to her, "I just wanted to have a girls' night with my friends. Oh, that felt really good."

"Two more," he ordered, "Oh, time away from your boyfriend?"

"Hahaha," Juliet laughed out loud, already feeling the effects of the alcohol, "If I had one," she smiled at him. _God, I don't remember the last time I felt this good!_ She giggled to herself, and took the shot.

"Another? So you're single?"

"It appears so." Juliet's phone vibrated and she looked at it after downing the next shot.

_Shawn__  
Sent- 10:57__  
I hate being stuck at home. Wanna play the Word Association Game? I'll start. BEAUTIFUL_

"Who's that," he asked ordering two more shots.

"No one," Juliet deleted the text, put her phone back in her purse, and grabbed the next shot that was waiting for her.

"Another round! So, Juliet, what do you do for a living?"

Normally Juliet hated that question, guys always seemed to be intimidated by her career, but it didn't seem to matter that much right then, so she took the shot and asked, "Promise you won't be intimidated?"

He raised an eyebrow to that, "I promise."

"I'm a cop, a detective actually, for Santa Barbara," Juliet laughed.

"Impressive."

"Haha. Right. So mister mystery. L.O.L." Juliet laughed, "What is your profession of choice? Oh, and bartender, can I get another one of those thingies?"

"Well, I'm a lawyer."

"Haha, very funny," Juliet said taking the next shot, "You're too cute to be a lawyer. Can I get another shot?"

"Maybe you should hold on that shot, or eat something with it."

"No, I'll be ok."

Ethan looked at the bartender, and shrugged his shoulders. "Are you sure you're ok?"

Juliet took the next shot, "Yeah, crystal."

"What?"

"I-I mean, yeah. Let's dance!"

"Ok."

Juliet led him to the dance floor and started dancing with him. She started swinging her head back and forth, and began to tumble off balance, but Ethan caught her, and rested her head on his shoulder, as he put his arms around her to keep her balanced. "You are such a great guy!"

"I think you'd be less quick to say that another time."

Juliet looked up at him, "You're so sweet, and handsome, and kind, and- here," without further thought, Juliet kissed him. She put all of her anger into it, all her sadness, all her confusion, everything into this guy that she just met. But that didn't matter, he was interested in her, he wanted her, he held her, he listened to her.

"Oh, your phone's vibrating."

"What? Oh," Juliet looked, "It's just Shawn, here, let me take it."

"Ok, just sit down, please."

"Ok," Juliet let Ethan seat her and she picked up her phone,"Hola mi amigo!"

"Juliet?"

"Si!"

"Juliet, are you drunk?"

"No, silly," she laughed.

"Are you ok?"

"Oui, Monsieur."

"Um, ok. Why didn't you respond to my text?"

"Shawn, I'm not your back-up girl for when Abigail can't keep you entertained! I am actually on a date as we speak. Oh, wait! Stay on the phone," Juliet ran up to the empty stage, "Hey, I know I haven't signed up yet, but can I quickly sing a song for my friend on the phone?"

"Um, sure," the guy leading the karaoke replied.

"Ok, thanks," she whispered the song in his ear, "Ready, Shawn? This song is going to be for you."

The music started, and Juliet had the mic in one hand and the phone to her ear in the other.

"_If I should stay Shawn,__  
I would only be in your way.__  
So I'll go, but I know__  
I'll think of you every step of the way._

_And I will always love you, Shawn.__  
I will always love you.__  
uh-dadadada"_

"Jules, where are you? You're completely wasted. I'm going to pick you up."

"Ssh, Shawn, listen to my song.

"_So, goodbye. Please, don't cry.__  
We both know I'm not what you, you need-_Kirsten get off me," Juliet shouted as Kirsten grabbed the mic and then the phone.

"Sorry, Shawn. She's not feeling well," Kirsten told him.

"Should I come get her?"

"No, it's ok, we've got her," Kirsten hung up, and turned back to her friend, in which Ethan was helping her off stage and into a seat.

"I'm so sorry," Kirsten said to him, "She's normally not like this at all."

Juliet grabbed Ethan's arm and tried to pull him into a kiss, "Not now, ok," he told her.

"Well then let me give you my number," she laughed, "Oh, wait, I don't have a pen," she pouted.

"Here, why don't I give you my number, and you can call me when you are over this Shawn guy. I really like you- sober."

"Why don't you come back to my apartment and get to know me?"

He looked over to Kirsten and wrote his number on a napkin and handed it to her. "I really do want to get to know her. Will you give this to her when she's-"

"Not out of her mind? Yeah. Hey, thanks for not taking advantage of her. You really are a great guy."

He smiled, "Let me help you get her to the car," He hoisted Juliet up as she got sick everywhere.

…………………….

"Oh my God," Juliet put her head between her legs, "I can't believe this happened. I'm so stupid, what am I going to tell Shawn?"

"It's ok honey, we've all been here before."

"Kirsten, you're used to making yourself look like an idiot, how do I get myself out of this?"

"Ouch."

"Oh, no. I didn't mean it like that. I'm so sorry. I just- don't know what to do."

"It's ok. I think the best thing to do is go on like normal, pretend it didn't happen, let him bring it up first, if he does at all, and don't let him shove you around, let him know he has no power over you. Well, that is if it is Shawn you were referring to."

Juliet silently thought to herself for awhile, while her friends sat around her, with their arms around her. "Thank you guys so much, thanks for being there for me, even though I was a stupid ass. I don't know what I would do with out you," she hugged them all.

The dryer buzzed, her shirt was clean. Chloe went and grabbed it for her.

When Juliet put her shirt back on, she stood up, "I think I need to go and wash that whole night off me, get some sleep, and just think. Thanks so much guys."

"Aw, honey, you know we would do anything for you."

"Yeah," she forced a smile.

"If you need anything, don't hesitate to call."

"Ok, thanks."

"Oh, Juliet," Kirsten smiled as she pulled out a napkin, "Ethan left this for you."

"Throw it out."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm not ready yet."

"He was a really nice guy…"

"I know, he deserves better than what I can offer him now, or anytime soon."

"Alright."

……………………

Juliet opened her apartment door, walked in, and slid down the wall. _What the hell did I do? Dammit, you could have hooked up with a really nice guy and been so much happier, but you had to screw it up. Would I really be happier? Probably not, but I'm 100% sure I'd feel better than this._ She let out a moan.

After sitting for a couple more minutes, she got up, closed her door and turned on her tea kettle. Then she went to her bathroom and drew a steaming hot bath, complete with bubbles and candles. She put a MUSE CD in her CD player that was in the bathroom, and turned it up full blast.

By the time she was done with that, her water was done, and she put the teabag in, to let it brew. While it brewed, she went to her bedroom and shed her clothes, which was satisfying in itself.

She headed back to her tea, and took a sip. It felt nice and calming, as it went down. She then headed over to her tub, set her tea down on the tub, slid in, took a deep breath, and allowed her mind to think only of the hot, soothing water and the crackling bubbles. Or, at least tried to.


End file.
